The Christmas-Tree Trade-In

This year we are bucking traditions and trading in the Christmas Tree for palm trees!

A couple years ago my mom got herself a little winter place in California, as a way to get out from under the north-Idaho Winter Blues. It gets dark really early, in winter in northern Idaho. The days are short, the weather is bleak, and it’s no accident that “Seasonal Affective Disorder” spells out SAD! We worried for her emotional well-being in winters; she has a robust social life, but since my dad died, she’s still alone in that house—and without even the company of a kitty, since her companion Mila passed away a couple years ago. It’s just a tough season, and (like me) she’s kind of a plant: she needs her sunshine!

So she got this little place in Indio, near Palm Springs. It’s a retirement park of, in essence, tiny homes—and hers is light and bright and airy and cheerful… And it’s under palm trees. And it’s sunny in winter. And it’s kind of perfect.

I visited her there, this past spring, and it was delightful to see not only her little winter home, but the engaging community that comes with it. She joined two choirs, she goes to dances and game nights, she swims and plays pickleball and zips around on her bike, and she took me on a round of social visits to friends and neighbors…There’s a wood-shop and a quilting room and a library and a puzzle room, putting greens and pickleball courts and two pools and a full-to-bursting social schedule of events and activities.

With flags on our heads we went to cheer the U.S. team in the park’s annual Americans-vs.-Canadians golf tournament.

the writer and her mother cheering for the U.S.

And when we sat out on her porch with our coffees in the morning, several neighbors wandered over and we ended up with a spontaneous coffee-hour party.

I don’t worry about her in winter, now.

Up to now, she has waited until January to head down there, because Jon & I always spend Christmas with her. This year I asked her if she didn’t want to head south sooner—we could do Christmas in California. So that’s exactly the plan. We agreed to skip Christmas presents—except for “stocking stuffers”—and she pitched in toward plane tickets, and I am very pleased with the prospect of packing a swimsuit for Christmas. I can spend Christmas barefoot! We’re still planning on Christmas caroling—but it will be under a palm tree this year.

My mom in the pool, when I visited in the spring

18 thoughts on “The Christmas-Tree Trade-In

  1. Enjoy! I have a friend whose husband passed during the pandemic. They had always talked about retiring to Florida, so she finally did four years after his passing. She moved to a retirement community as well and is living a much better life with new friends and much warmer/sunnier weather. And now I have a warm place to go in winter!

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    1. Where we live, in eastern Oregon, we get temps in the negatives (Fahrenheit, WAY below freezing) in the winter, and triple digits in the summer—extremes at both ends. We’re having a pretty mild winter so far, though, at leaset temperature-wise…

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  2. I often think about what aging and retirement will look like. This makes me so happy to hear that such a place exists and that your mom is enjoying her life.

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    1. It’s such a pleasure that I can think of her there—busy and sociable and soaking up sunshine—instead of worrying for her happiness all winter! Visiting her was really great because I got to SEE it all, and now I can picture her…

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  3. Kana,

    Sounds like a great Christmas. For many years we did just the opposite. My first grandson was born just before Christmas, and we waited until Martin Luther King weekend to go up for the first family visit – we wanted to give the new parents some private time with their newborn.

    But this became a family tradition for about seven years. We’d drive up and spend the week with the family in of all places Minnesota or North Dakota!

    One particular year we did Christmas in Fargo, North Dakota with my brother-in-law and his family. My poor Cali-daughter-in-law about died. It hit sub-20 below zero and thankfully my Minnesota daughter-in-law had an extra warm weather coat, hat and gloves for her. Even with the extra clothes we worried that she’d die from the cold.

    Of course, they made her go out into the snow and ‘play’! for the first time in her life she walked on an ice-covered pond, watched people ice fishing, and made snow angel’s. She marveled at trucks hauling ice huts out onto frozen lakes. She kept watching and waiting to see one of them fall through the ice.

    We always had a white Christmas with lots of snow.

    Unfortunately, the tradition ended. The grandkids are now in school, and we have to travel during their school’s winter break. Since my mother-in-law turned 99, she no longer is willing to travel so the family has to come to see us in West Virginia. Christmas here is well, not Minnesota. No snow again this year for Christmas, 55-degrees anticipated, definitely not a white Christmas. We celebrate Christmas on the 27th because of everyone’s travel schedules. But it’s still Christmas with the family and that’s that’s what’s important!

    Enjoy your California adventure and have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

    “Hardcharger”

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    1. There IS something very Christmasy-festive about cold and snow… But I’m very happy to give up those more “traditional” signs of festivity in favor of the palm trees! ;)

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