Kana's Chronicles

Life in Kana-text (er… CONtext)

Two years ago today my hubby and I scheduled our anniversary. That is to say, we scampered over to the courthouse (for a HAPPY reason–a novelty in itself for a pair of recovering alcoholics like us) and tied the knot. Lucky Thirteen, that’s our anniversary. Never mind that it was a Tuesday morning–clearly we’re not traditionalists anyway. My Island Guy demonstrated the depth of his affection by actually putting on SHOES for 20 minutes–and then we did our daily shopping and opened up our restaurant.  Later that day I quietly updated my FaceBook (he stole my heart, so I stole his last name) and let our friends take notice on their own time.

Two years ago I became Granny, and Mom to seven instead of two. I’m humbled and honored that none of the kids use the “step” qualifier in describing family relations, except in cases where its omission would cause undue confusion. They simply speak of their “brothers and sisters” and we joyfully refer to them as OUR kids–which all of them are, to both of us. (The only time that “step” regularly surfaces in conversation is when Dad is being particularly embarrassing–eg. offering to wear a cheerleader dress to our son’s football game–in which case our 15-year-old will tell his friends: “That’s not my dad. He’s just married to my stepmom.”)

my wedding tattoo–from the Old Testament’s “Song of Songs”

This same 15-year-old, who had previously been the “baby” of the family, has stepped gracefully into his role as Big Brother–the younger ones adore him. And our 10-year-old delights in having Big Brothers to look up to.  (Observation on Family-Chemistry… The sibling-sets who have been with each other from the beginning still exhibit that familiar brother/sister friction, but even with a couple years of “blended” family behind us, the kiddos demonstrate unfailing admiration and affection for the siblings they didn’t “suffer” in earlier years. I’m sure there’s a psychology paper in that.)

As for me, I still take an impish delight in people’s expressions when I talk about my grandkids (I’m not so young that it’s entirely unfeasible, but in truth, my oldest daughter is just a few years younger than I)–and in referring to myself occasionally as The Wicked Stepma.

God has a wicked sense of humor–that’s the conclusion of our anniversary-induced reflections. The two of us collided in Rehab, each of us in a last-ditch effort to save our own lives, or even to believe them worth saving. He had arrived there by ambulance after hanging himself, and I checked myself in a few days later, having just chucked everything my sober-self believed worthwhile (kids, career) by my inability to walk away from the vodka bottle. We spent Christmas constructing gingerbread houses (an activity improbably billed as “occupational therapy”), engaged in a heated rivalry on the hospital’s badminton court, and each discovered the reality of the elusive (and, I had always believed, mythical) creature, the Soulmate. From badminton-court to courthouse and beyond–this has been a truly joyful journey, challenges and changes and all. Thanks, Baby. Me kealoha pumehana.

27 thoughts on “Lucky Thirteen

  1. Nicole Marie says:

    You guys are so cute! And Happy Anniversary! My parents’ anniversary is today, too. :) Enjoy each other!

    Like

  2. Nicole Marie says:

    Oh – and congratulations to the both of you for overcoming so much, and finding each other in the process!

    Like

  3. Bruce says:

    Happy Anniversary Kana! Great pic – cool looking couple! Enjoy your lives!

    Like

  4. Beth Parker says:

    Congratulations, you two! All of what you’re doing together is a very big deal!

    Like

  5. Pat says:

    Happy Anniversary!

    Like

  6. The Hobbler says:

    That is so sweet. Happy Anniversary!

    Like

  7. Charley McKelvy says:

    Great post!

    Like

  8. Ship's Cook says:

    That’s a great story and you look so happy together, long may it continue to be so

    Like

  9. Lovely post. It’s so wonderful that you found each other. Hope you have a long and happy life together.

    Like

  10. Sharon says:

    Beautiful writing, it’s made my eyes a little watery.

    Like

  11. Sunshine says:

    Enjoyed the conversation and photo….thanks! Happy Anniversary!

    Like

  12. planetross says:

    Happy Anniversary!

    Like

  13. Pamela says:

    Hi! It’s so great to see strong love. Happy Anniversary to you guys! I wish you continued love, peace and health!

    Like

  14. Dan says:

    “Later that day I quietly updated my FaceBook (he stole my heart, so I stole his last name) and let our friends take notice on their own time.”

    I love that passage. Nice post.

    Like

  15. Rose says:

    Surprising and untraditional stories of love and family are the best – congrats! To many, many more.

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  16. pharphelonus says:

    Happy anniversary. Fist pump to you all. Rock on!

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  17. Happy Anniversary guys – you look very happy. I hope you have the gift of retaining this joyful relationship for many, many years to come!

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  18. Heidi says:

    Happy Anniversary!

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  19. Kuliakapualokelani says:

    We were all blessed the day you walked into my daddy’s life. We love and miss all of you lots! Happy Anniversary!

    Like

    1. Kana Tyler says:

      And I’M so blessed to have all of YOU in my life! Love you so much–hugs from Granny! :)

      Like

  20. Debi says:

    Nice post! How awesome that you found each other…I’ll be checking back for more. :) Did you really get that tatoo?? :O

    Like

    1. Kana Tyler says:

      That’s a photo of my right shoulder. ;)

      Like

  21. Shahidah says:

    wonderful post and I love the happy picture. I’m such a sucker I get teary over stories like this especially when blended families work out great. Congrats!

    Like

  22. Enjoyed your post. I often refer to myself as the evil step-mother, even when I am being the same kind of parent I am to my biological child! Our blending is still in progress and certainly a journey. Thanks for helping me find you. Aloha.

    Like

  23. Mickey Mills says:

    I always like to see those- “Boy meets girl on AA campus” turn out with a happy ending.

    DOS – 8-23-87

    Like

  24. Coyote says:

    Fantastic.

    Nuf said.

    Like

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