Posted in Family

Fifty Shades of Greybeard

This morning the sound of my hubby’s electric beard-trimmer was interrupted by a yelp, followed by an exclamation of disgust. “Stupid razor!” Envisioning the guard coming loose and a notch of bare chin in the middle of his goatee, I ventured a question into the ensuing silence with some trepidation. “Honey? What happened?” Another moment of silence, followed by the indignant elucidation.

“This stupid razor took all the dark hairs and only left grey ones!”

Stupid razor indeed.  Though in all fairness, we should cut the thing a little slack considering what it has to work with. Fifty shades of greybeard, that’s my man.

hair in a bun
da hunny bunny… (and yes, his neck says “Kana Girl”… I like to label things that belong to me ;)

He can still take comfort, however, in a magnificent mane of glossy black hair (a gift of his Hawai’ian heritage, no doubt)–just a few threads of silver there. He asked me recently to show him how to “do a bun” because his hair is getting so long his ponytail felt “untidy.” He’s a little O.C.D. about some things. (Or CDO, as he prefers it–putting the letters in the right order, you know.)

It’s been a few years since either of us paid for a haircut, so when my split ends got out of control I asked him if he could trim the ends for me. “Nothing complicated,” I reassured him; “just about this much off the ends, all the way around.”  He stood behind me with the scissors for a moment, paralyzed with apprehension, before excusing himself and heading out to the shed for the necessary missing tool.

I’m probably the only person I know who has actually had a haircut performed with a level. Did I mention the OCD?

I actually haven’t read the notorious “Fifty Shades of Grey” about which everyone seems to be tittering these days–but then, I haven’t needed a fictional fix, either. Just so long as the sheets are properly straightened first…


I am... a writer, an explorer, a coffee-drinker, a recovering addict, a barefoot linguist, a book-dragon ("bookworm" doesn't cover it), a raconteur, a sailboat skipper, a research diver, a tattooed scholar, a pirate, a poet, a spiritual adventurer, a photographer, a few kinds-of-crazy, a joyful wife, a mom... a list-maker! :)

25 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Greybeard

  1. Evidently one returning home to his wife, following his 30 day stint in jail, should not re-do the bedsheets and covers? Seriously? The hanging lengths were like major uneven! Okay, maybe 1 3/8 inches but in some places that’s a huge difference. (I read that somewhere in jail)


  2. I have not come to terms with my grey as of yet. I still dye my hair. It’s one of my few vanity things. One day though I’ll just let it go but for now, depending on my mood, I’m either a brunette or blond. haha


    1. Right there with you! I joke that I AM a natural redhead–it’s just my HAIR that doesn’t agree… ;) the $3 box of hair-color from WalMart is my big “indulgence”–or nod to vanity?–every month. And no doubt there’s a lot MORE grey by now, but it’s been three years since I let it show to know how much of it has turned… ;)


  3. There is much to be said for a perfectly straight cut, especially when considering my own whack jobs at self-hair-mutilation. If you ever need a crooked ‘do, I’m your girl!


    1. Been there! :) Especially memorable was the time in high school (when I had a very short ‘do) and my mom told me I “couldn’t” cut my own hair… We all know what THAT “challenge” led to… Dang that Mom for always being RIGHT. ;)
      I keep waiting for that Magic Mom-Power to transfer–now that I’M a Mom, shouldn’t I be Right all the time? Hmm, maybe that’s not how it works… ;)


      1. It’s your reality, babe, tell it like you want! In my reality, I am the Mama, and the Mama is ALWAYS right. lol


  4. Cute story.
    That was actually a great idea on his part. There is a haircutting guide you can buy that has a level attached to it.


  5. My wife and I have been cutting one another’s hair for more than 10 years, and it is always a special occasion, complete with opera blaring out of the stereo. Thanks for sharing.


  6. LOL a level . . I love it ; ) I’ve not gotten up enough courage to ask my husband to trim my hair yet, though maybe if he used a level heheeh. I still make a trip to my mom’s house when it gets to long or to many split ends ; )


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