A Horror-Stricken Ostrich

~ Kana Smith

Note: I hardly ever, ever go into politics here, for reasons that are about to become apparent. This post is an exception. I feel like I should give warning, in the same way that some shows warn when there will be flashing lights or adult language… Be warned. Political anxiety ahead. ***

I don’t do horror movies. I find nothing fun about them, and I’ll even go so far as to call it a mental-health precaution that I avoid them. They mess with my head. I have enough of my own mental messes and PTSD that my long-suffering husband regularly has to wake me from wailing nightmares. “I’ve got you,” he soothes me. “You’re all right, I’ve got you,” repeated until my brain staggers OUT of its terrors.

Why would I add horrors to my mind’s film-bank, if I can avoid doing so?

You might scoff at me, but there are times (many, of late) when I feel I have to take that approach even a step further. There are periods of time when I avoid NEWS as a matter of mental health, as well.

If there are things I can be doing—if I have a vote, or an action to take—well, then I want to be fully informed. (I’m not, after all, a fan of ignorance.) But all too often the world’s doings are above my pay-grade, and I can’t pitch in to change them, and they’re distressing, and when I feel my mental health teetering out of whack, I choose to “ostrich” myself for a while, rather than inviting the anxiety.

an AI-generated image of an ostrich in the dark , with newspapers floating around him

Frankly, most of Trump’s presidency has fallen under this heading. Politics aside, I think he’s a wretched human being, childish and self-centered and power-hungry, with no regard for anything but what HE wants. A despot in the making. He has an astonishing capacity to ignore things he doesn’t like—whether those be manners or rules or court orders or laws or common human decency…

And my immediate difficulty, given those opinions, is that I’m planted firmly in Trump Territory. (Oregon may, overall, be a liberal state in its cities and population centers—but this rural eastern farmtown is as conservative as it gets.) A good friend downright hero-worships Trump—and it all comes down to what news sources you credit. She dismisses “mainstream media” because she has been told that they’re liars, and she believes everything the Trump Machine puts out. (Well, if I believed that stuff, he would look pretty good.)

The problem is, I don’t.

I see how, over and over, the facts don’t align with the narrative he spins—and there’s nothing I can say to dim her belief in that narrative.

AI-generaged image of newspapers under an ostrich's feet

I don’t like to talk about current events with her, because our viewpoints and our “trusted sources” of outlook-on-the-world are so diametrically opposite. It’s hard to avoid the topic, though, because she’s so caught up in Trumpness. She covers herself with Trumpification—stickers on her car, water bottle, notebook. Trump clothing, Trump pins, Trump purse! Almost everything she owns or displays shouts MAGA—and while I applaud the idea of keeping America a great place to live, I sure have a different idea of what that looks like.

No, I’m keeping my nose out of the news.

I’m aware of the government shut-down because it impacts people close to home—almost all of our staff members rely on SNAP to keep their kids fed. And here’s what I know: a federal court has ordered Trump’s government to fund food stamps this week—and it is unclear whether the White House will comply! There shouldn’t even be a question, when a federal court rules, but Trump continues to do what he feels like. Never mind that pesky separation-of-powers stuff, where legislative and judicial branches are supposed to keep the executive in check. There’s no checking an executive who ignores ALL of it.

See? Even that much of a peek into the news has me all tied in knots—and all the more so for my constant exposure, “on the ground,” to someone who lauds every move the man makes. It’s so near the surface—my utter inability to affect even one person’s thinking, let alone impact the actual things that are happening. So I pull back, and retreat to the care and feeding (literally, right now!) of my own little neighborhood.

What is MY sphere of influence? What is (to use the Hawai’ian term for which English has no direct equivalent) MY kuliana? What is my area of reponsibility? I can make sure my staff isn’t hungry this week. THAT is something I can do.

And I pray that Trump doesn’t roll over term limits the way he steamrolls everything else. I don’t want my head perpetually stuck in the sand. I want to come out and breathe again.

I wrote the above before church yesterday.

And then I found myself, full-voiced, singing that the name of the Lord is above all earthly dominions and all powers… And I felt a great sense of relief and comfort. As my husband repeatedly reminds me: “God is still in charge.”

Even so… the New York Times app on my iPad is just going to have to continue to languish. I’m just going to stick to uninformed prayer—I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to handle The News.

AI-generated image of an ostrich with feathers in delicate shades of turquoise, gazing upward as beams of light come down on it from above

33 thoughts on “A Horror-Stricken Ostrich”

  1. I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s all so overwhelming isn’t it? I’m thankful I don’t have any friends who are Trumpsters. I don’t think I could keep my mouth shut if your friend was in my friend circle.

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    1. I can’t say that I do keep my mouth shut—but I try (for the sake of friendship, and because she’s also an employee!) not to say ALL of what I think. And that’s difficult. It’s why I prefer to avoid the topic altogether, but she WILL bring it up, lol… ;)

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  2. I hear you. The world can feel overwhelming, and sometimes stepping back is the healthiest thing we can do. I’m glad you’re focusing on what you can help with. And yes, God is still in control.

    Be Blessed and Be a Blessing 🙏

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  3. My first “serious job” [after many simply to survive] one was in 1966 for a Montana Republican; I held appointments by Nixon, Ford and Bush 41. I lived in a deep red state until 2020 and another since then. I am still registered as a Republican, but I have been aware of the President’s business activities since the early 1990’s, agree with everything you say about him, and have never voted for him in any primary or general election even when I couldn’t agree with the Democratic candidates. I have been through enough to know that “this too shall pass,” but boy the waiting is hard. 🤔

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    1. I stopped to ask myself, yesterday, how many years into this term we’ve gotten—and was somehow shocked to remember it’s still the first year. Sigh. ;)
      I’m a registered Republican too, but I might still be the most liberal person living in this county!

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  4. I cannot imagine how difficult your situation would be. I’m Canadian, and even from here I find it too “real” and too close, to the point that I’ve largely stopped reading any news dealing with events south-of-the-border … which these days, seems to be all news. I take small comfort in Churchill’s observation that Americans always do the right thing … after exhausting all other possibilities.

    I’m not one for praying, but my thoughts are with you. Good luck and keep strong.

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  5. Tell me about living in a right-wing playground!  I’ve lived here in Northeast Texas since I was born!  For more than 20 years now Texas Republicans has slowly yet successfully rigged the state’s voting system (gerrymandering) to help their party win seats in both the state house and the U.S. Congress.  But cracks are already starting to show in their grip, as people begin to realize how brutal and bigoted their policies can be.  Regardless, Kana, NEVER be afraid of expressing your political views!  It’s the truly American thing to do.

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  7. I don’t discuss politics but then I am an Aussie and that’s something Aussie don’t do, I also have zero interest in horror movies sadly the horror movie called Trumps America is playing every bloody were. My youngest sister Sandy thinks the orange is awesome me and another sister Sue think she is mad, who in their right mind things the crazy orange is a small minded, self entitle idiot, just saying

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  8. My best friend idolizes Trump and Elon Musk, and my friday morning men’s prayer breakfast is full of Trump people. The leader sends us cartoons which demean those not on the same page he us, but he doesn’t realize this. He just assumes that, as Christians, we must agree with his point of view. He’s a really nice guy. I talk about politics just enough to infuriate my best friend and lead my breakfast friends to believe I must be a democrat. Your post was like a breath of fresh air.

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    1. As awful a boat as this is to be in, I’m somehow glad I’m not the only one IN it! :)

      I find it ironic, how many Christians make that same sort of assumption as your prayer-group leader—the irony lying in how UNChristian so much of Trump’s behavior is! How is it that Christians have claimed HIM? Argh.

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  9. Your ostrich photo is so beautiful. I find myself getting lost in beautiful things to try to keep sane. I’m grieving a lot. I do try to read credible news, but only in small doses. And I balance resistance work with walks in the forest and creating art in community with others.

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  11. Your friend is a cult member. Those who follow Trump despite his convictions for sexual assault and fraud, do not turn away from him, because they just accept that all the bad things they hear about him are lies. You will not be able to sway them with logic, but you can still enjoy their company as long as you steer clear of politics. We’re all in one cult or another, something we believe so strongly that nothing will change our minds. You believe in God, even though there is no proof to the existence of a God. I don’t believe in God, even though I have no proof that no God exists. So, we shouldn’t bother to try to change one another’s viewpoint. We just try to find common ground. Fortunately, you and I have common ground. We both believe that Trump is a wretched human being, childish and self-centered and power-hungry, with no regard for anything but what HE wants.

    Wishing you all the best.

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      1. Before Donald Trump we found plenty of things to talk about besides politics. Before Trump, late night comedians would make jokes about actors and movies, etc. It might not be easy to find another topic, but it will surely be worth it.

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