You know what? I’ll write this one later.

No wait, come back—I’m just kidding!

I’m a terrible procrastinator, have been for as long as I can remember… I’m noticing that a number of these t-shirt ideas could double as “ADHD” slogans… And I suddenly wonder if that diagnosis has anything to do with my apparent inability sometimes to GET THINGS DONE!

• I put the “Pro” in Procrastination.
• If good things come to those who wait, isn’t Procrastination a virtue?
• Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after.
• So many deadlines, so little time! (Well actually there’s plenty of time. I just prefer to waste it doing random shit.)
• Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
• Laundry Schedule:
  • Sort—today
  • Wash—later
  • Fold—eventually
  • Iron—ha ha ha
• Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow.
• I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid doing anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.
• From a procrastination standpoint, today is looking wildly successful.
• I’m really swamped with things I shouldn’t be spending time on right now.
• Tomorrow: a mystical land in which 99% of all human productivity is stored.
• Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.
• I’m the leader of the world’s largest nation. Procrasti-nation.
• There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
• I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things.
• I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things at once.
• Procrastination is so often misspelled as P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N-I-S-M
• I planned on procrastinating today, but I never got around to it.
• If there were a pill to prevent procrastination, I’d take it tomorrow.
• I wait till the last second to do my work because I will be older, and therefore wiser.

And finally, this gem (because what I do when I’m procrastinating is BLOG!)…

• The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.
  

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(Now I’d better get back to writing about how Trump’s presidency will affect America’s economy, which is what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing. Sigh.)