It’s a very sweet thing that my husband brings me a cup of coffee every morning before I’ve even sat up. I suspect it’s also an act of self-preservation on his part.

I am a person who fuels and functions on caffeine. Coffee all day. Makes me happy. It should probably be listed among my mental-health medications!

So here’s “Put it on a T-shirt: The Caffeinated Edition”…

• Coffee is my favorite way to trick myself into doing stuff.
• Procaffeinating. (n.) The tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a cup of coffee.
• First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things.
• There are two kinds of people: coffee people, and sad people.
• Coffee helps me person. Personing is hard without caffeine.
• I laugh in the face of decaf.
• The early bird can have the worm. I’ll take the coffee.
• Coffee = Inspiration Juice!
• Warning: Do not activate this person without coffee.
• I drink coffee for your protection.
• How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very seriously.
• There’s too much blood in my coffee stream.
• Perkatory: the anguished wait for a pot of coffee to finish brewing.
• Don’t let them tell you fairy tales aren’t real. I drink a potion made from magic beans every day, and it brings me back to life.

As for bringing me coffee in the mornings, Jon jokes that he’s Biblically inspired to consider it his job… The Good Book says HEbrews!